I’m back! Did you miss me? (Don’t answer!) I have a question. Are you OK, hun?

Ahhhh! That ubiquitous (f*cking annoying) question!

But I’ll answer it anyway because I’ve been doing a lot of thinking of late (don’t eye roll, it’s rude!) … in terms of this blog and what I want to share on here and what the hell is its purpose?

Admittedly, it’s taken me a few months (thank you for staying subscribed) but more than anything, I want this blog to be about honesty.

My words. My thoughts and nothing else, really.

There’ll still be a splash of stylish things and such but what I really want to use this platform for goes somewhat deeper than the content I may have previously posted…

**Deep breath. I guess it’s time to evolve a bit and try out different things. Innit…?

So. When was the last time you faced your fears and are you OK with being afraid?

The irony is not lost on me. Here I am looking quite comfortable, doing my best impression of Ruth Langford from This Morning but the thing is, I was WAY out of my comfort zone!

I mean, how would you honestly reply if asked to host an event – get mic’d up, sit on a stage in front of 100+ guests and interview an expert panel of speakers?

I’m guessing not many would jump to it, maybe a handful would.

But on the whole, public speaking usually makes people want to shit themselves, innit?

And I am no different. And this surprises many.

On the outside, I guess I project an image of put togetherness. As  a (freelance) lifestyle journalist, the assumption is that I’m professional, used to interviewing,  speaking in front on people, team leading and so forth.

This is not the person who I see when I look in the mirror.

Ok, so I’ve interviewed many a celebrity – Katy Perry, The Olsens, Coleen Rooney, Katie Piper… I’ve styled Ariana Grande, Little Mix and Lilah Parsons to name just a few of my all time favs…

And I shat myself good and proper every single time! But you wouldn’t know that, until now.

Our perception of others is often very removed from who the person actually is, FACT! But it’s only when we are honest about how we’re really feeling, that we discover it’s a f*ck off, monumental facade! 

Every one has a game face and we slap it on for various reasons.

Survival, self-preservation; from not letting that annoying twat at work get to us, to pretending to our friends that we’re living our best lives when we’re actually feeling broken inside.

How many times have you replied with “I’m fine” when someone asks how you are?

That’s game face – ’cause I bloody bet that you’re not! Am I right?

Truth be told, we all have struggles and shizzle and we confront them EVERY SINGLE DAY; things that we’re afraid of doing and yes, sometimes it maybe the right thing to do to conceal those fears and put on a brave face.

But all of that requires your energy and the more you do it, the more exhausted you’ll become so it’s vital to be aware of the signs when you need to let your game face go, put down that guard and release the pressure. 

It’s essential for your mental well being and I wish they’d teach this in schools.

Whatever challenges you’ve had this week, whatever fears you’ve faced, well done – whether they were a success or not, be it an exam, a meeting, a tricky conversation…

It’s important to acknowledge the energy you put into it.

It wasn’t easy and here’s the important thing – if you’re the only person who is aware of how tough that was, then maybe, just maybe, the next time someone asks if you’re OK, let them know, yeah?

I find that it’s often easier to admit these things in hindsight (something I am personally working on) but I guarantee that when you feel that game face lift, the pressure valve resets back to a much more healthier and happier level.

Happy a lovely weekend, people.

Love, FT