WHY I STOPPED BLOGGING?
A few of you have been asking if I’ve stopped blogging…
I know I promised at the beginning of the year that I’d blog weekly and Sunday mornings seemed to be a good time for my (subscribers) newsletter to land in your inboxes.
Truth be told, it’s been a bit of a shitty time TBH, so I can only thank you for being so loyal and apologies if you thought I’d abandoned the blogosphere or that some technical issue had disrupted your subscription.
I’m really hoping to get back into the swing of blogging – starting from now – but thought I’d start off with a little explanation for my radio silence…
I ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE ILL
Hands up if you’ve had the dreaded lurgy?
It is CRAPPY, innit?!
I’m talking FLU-FLU. Not just an annoying cold but FULL BLOWN INFLUENZA *shouty caps, that takes about 3-4 weeks to properly shift.
Mine included FOUR days in bed (absolutely unheard of for me) of which I actually don’t remember very much. And when I say four days, I mean, I didn’t move at all, other than crawl to the loo and reach out for water and painkillers.
I just slept, sweated and shivered.
It all started with a weird ‘crushing’ feeling in my chest. My breathing was quite laboured and shallow; not to mention painful, too.
My mum had spent two weeks – including Christmas Day! – in A&E with severe pneumonia and frighteningly, sepsis, too – so I went to see my GP to rule out anything more sinister.
A thorough examination confirmed my temperature was 39 and that I was probably going to get a lot worse before I got better. Rest, fluids and pain relief was recommended.
Reassured that it was nothing more than a’ bit of lurgy’, I carried on with life – as you do – and especially as a parent.
And then, it hit me, HARD!
I’ve only ever had the flu once. I was a teenager and deeply in love with NKOTB.
All I remember was sweating buckets, shivering in the foetal position; feeling as though someone had shot me in the face!
My more recent bout of the lurg was a very similar experience and so, I listened to all the advice that admittedly, I would usually eye-roll at, and even to my surprise, I allowed myself to be ill.
Yes, the work load stacked up, deadlines passed, important meetings were missed and other mums were called upon to help with the school run.
Mr Husband and my still convalescing Mum were superstars and helped me with the house and the kids.
Meanwhile, I’d surrendered.
Which is a strange one for me. I’m not a martyr or medal hunter. I just tend to plough on if I can, but this time, I must admit, I was floored.
Even when FOMO started to kick in, I told it to f*ck off. And I avoided Instagram. Worse thing to do when you’re ill.
This is all so very unlike me. Usually, I struggle on – and have been known in the past to get my priorities all wrong…
But of late, I’ve started to listen to advice on self-care (who even am I, FFS!?)
I feel more aware – and dare I say it without sounding bat shit crazy – I feel more ‘aligned’ with what I truly need – so I just took time out.
Rather than do things half as well, I just stopped.
That included blogging.
And do you know what – when I was ready to come back, everything was as it was.
The world kept spinning. The internet still exists! Nothing grounded to a halt. School ties and PE kits were all located.
I am a perfectionist and a right pain in the arsehole when it comes to getting things done and doing things well but do you know what – I just slowly picked up from where I left off.
And that’s OK!
I truly believe that nothing that important will pass you by – including the ironing pile, ha!
And then, to top it all off – yup, you guessed it – my daughter got ill.
HALF TERM HAPPENED
As the February half term edged closer, I started to slowly feel the flu-fog lift – but tea still tasted like muddy rain water and I had only just started to get my appetite back.
My daughter was also on the mend, too, so Mr Husband suggested a relaxing trip to visit the in laws in Cornwall – especially as it was the turn of his mum to be poorly now (you just cannot make this stuff up) – so we packed up the camper van and headed down to Falmouth.
It was just what the doctor ordered.
Yes, the guilt started to resurface and stress me out – mad lists of everything I hadn’t done were beginning to seep into my thoughts. Blogging being one of them.
It’s a tough call when you’re self-employed.
All the lines get blurred.
Yes, you have a certain amount of flexibility to fit work around family but it can often mean never saying ‘no’ and constantly working, whenever a window of opportunity arises.
However, I decided to prioritise our time, I drew a line and spent quality time with my family in the early spring sunshine.
Believe me, with hindsight, it really was the best thing we did…
As many of you know, I freelance for a living. It means my weeks vary from one to the next.
I can be sitting, blogging on my laptop in a local coffee shop one day, then hot-desking on a magazine in London the next or styling a shoot or on a deadline.
I’ve also added another plate to juggle (as you do when you’re a freelance creative) and it’s all about self care and style.
We have our first event of 2019 at the end of March, so once again, my blog disappearance was also because this gig took precedence, especially after being so poorly.
There’s lots of planning and prepping – especially as we’ve nearly sold out – so we’re going to have a packed room, an expectant audience that we don’t want to disappoint.
Anyways, I hope this explains why I’ve been a bit quiet over here on The FT Times.
I guess the reason why I’m writing this posts is to say that it’s OK to step away.
Sometimes we just have to stop, recalibrate and watch.
Sometimes, everything is just where we left it and other times, life chucks a curveball and we have no choice but to adjust to a new landscape…
Anyway. I just wanted to say Hi and that I’m still here and thank you again for being so loyal to my blog.
Big blogging love,
Scroll down to comment and to subscribe for free, click here