MY STYLE TRIANGLE : THE FIRST STEP

Firstly. A reminder. My Style Triangle has nothing to do with a bikini wax! Or anything else remotely like that. It’s a collaborative name for a very exciting passion project that I’m working on together with Sunita (a friend, a HR pro and personal coach) who you can find blogging at luckythings.co.uk

Together, we are united in the belief that style and confidence are intrinsically linked; and that combined, becomes a powerful tool that can enhance and improve your well being.

It’s about learning how to shop well for you, to stop wasting time, effort and money on things you don’t need, because you’ll have curated a wardrobe that works hard and is in tune with your rhythm.

When Mauritian girls get together and they’re isn’t even a wedding! LOL! Sunita & I at the last Lucky Things Style & Confidence Meet-Up in Central London.

Like the sound of My Style Triangle?

Great! Let me explain some more…

IMHO, being stylish, should never be about rules or be dictated by how much disposable income you have.

Of course, for centuries, clothing, adornment and ‘fashion’ have been used as a means to communicate class and status. Yes, we can say the same today, however, the boundaries are without a doubt so much more blurred.

Just ’cause you’re wearing Gucci, doesn’t mean you’re minted, innit?

Today,  a post-modern consumer culture has allowed us to be able to dip, dabble and pic ‘n’ mix into so many different identities and lifestyles – and that element of experimentation and masquerade is fascinating.

For me, style is something everyone can get involved in and it’s steered by the individual.

Unlike fashion consumption – which creates an insatiable appetite for the new – style isn’t about following the latest trend and fitting in.

I hate the rhetoric that so many women feel they’re not allowed to sit with us; that they don’t fit into the mould…

I loathe the idea that girls grow up into women thinking they’re not thin enough, young enough, rich enough or pretty enough.

None of that shizzle is good for our well being.

However, as someone who’s worked two decades in the fashun industry, I’m starting to sense a shift…

And if not, then I’m hoping My Style Triangle creates one, ’cause things need to f*cking change!

As you can see, I’m VERY – *caps lock – passionate about this project because when used properly, it will only have a positive effect.

Here’s the lowdown on how to, but first, remember this…

The ‘my’ bit of My Style Triangle is crucial.

This is YOUR triangle.

YOU own it.

It’s not about me. It’s not about Sunita.

It’s about YOU!

None of this is about getting you to march to the beat of our style drum.

The true intention of My Style Triangle, is that it will help YOU FIND YOURS.

Ready?

For someone who loves drunk karaoke, the temptation to belt out Mariah was strong! Thank you to Kelly Reeves Photography for snapping this shot and the main image in this post at the Lucky Things Style & Confidence Meet-Ups.
HOW TO START?

I spoke about this recently at the last Lucky Things Style & Confidence Workshop in Central London. I was honoured to have been asked back a second time and Sunita and I are buzzing that our message is being received positively.

It’s not meant to be preachy – but it IS meant to make you think.

So firstly, you have to be prepared to ask some questions about what you want from your wardrobe, how it makes you feel and how you want it to make you feel?

For me (again, this may not be your response at all) it’s about saving up and investing in quality pieces.

I’m fed up of fighting with a bursting rail of clothes and then complaining that I’ve got no money or nothing to wear!

I prefer to shop more slowly now and make more considered choices.

I still appreciate seasonal trends, I’ll always be drawn to the different but ultimately, I want to feel good and I really want to try and be sustainable wherever possible.

Discovering what YOU want from your wardrobe will take time because you need to look in the mirror and acknowledge who you are now, how you project yourself, how you want to be seen and how you want to feel?

What are you thinking about when buying that dress, that top, those shoes?

Is it because everyone else has it? Is it the hype?

Is it because you want to blend in or do you want to be seen?

Is it about comfort?

Does your job or your role dictate what you wear and why?

Why do you like or hate that colour? Who told you it’s not ‘your’ shade?

You will have to think about who’ve been the people in your life that have influenced how you look and feel and as wanky as it sounds – are you happy when you stare back at the person you see in the mirror?

Understanding and overcoming can be tricky.

But in doing so with honesty, grit and guts will mean that My Style Triangle works and serves only you, no one else.

Yes this does go WAY deeper than a bit of cloth on a hanger, but this is what I’ve always loved about clothes.

The psychology behind it truly fascinates me.

It’s a language.

It’s a way of communicating your message.

I’m going to leave you to ponder this as I think it’s such an important part of this process of My Style Triangle.

I guess it’s a bit like any habit you want to break – they do die hard.

Working out why we think the way we do about ourselves and why we behave in a certain way will trail back to times that we may not want to revisit…

I used to shy away from bright colours because someone said when I was younger that it made me look ‘too dark’ – and that was seen as a negative. (Is this why I’m always comfortable in black?)

I never used to wear bikinis because I not only hated my stretch marks, it also subconsciously reminds me of a personally traumatic time in my past.

I hated wearing dangly earrings as a child as it wasn’t something my white friends did in the leafy Surrey ‘burbs in the 80s! It made them identify me as ‘Indian’ and culturally different and I wasn’t comfortable about that. (As you can see from my statement earrings, I’ve totally knocked that on the head now, ha!)

But, I am well aware that the river runs deep, for so many of us.

Thank you Tabatha at Tiger Plum Design for designing all the artwork for My Style Triangle

These comments and slights can and will affect us to this very day, but we need to be aware of them first and then slowly work through them, before we can truly start to make My Style Triangle work for us.

Have a think and only comment below if you feel comfortable about doing so. I totally get that this can be a really private thing to unravel.

For the next blog post…how to put My Style Triangle to work?

If you’re on Instagram, check out the hashtag #mystyletriangle and join in. Don’t forget to tag @the_ft_times and @luckythingsblog and I’ll do a round up every week on my Insta Stories.

F.T.

10 Comments

  • I love your post. It’s true…if you’re comfortable about your style then did what others think. For a long time I would dress to the way my husband liked. And you know what it f..ked up my confidence. But then I got my mojo back and now I’m happy just being me! Then my step son got married and I felt I needed to wear mother in law clothes which just wasn’t me so reverted back to trainers , t shirts etc and felt much better. So yes you are right! Your style has to be an extension of you and not what people think you should be wearing….x

    • Thank you Naila.
      This is EXACTLY what I’m talking about and why My Style Triangle is an opportunity to always check in with YOU and ask the right questions.
      The results will always be about being the version of YOU that you want to project.
      … that might be you wanting to be in your comfort zone, veering outside of it or making a happy compromise?
      The important thing is the questions you ask yourself first, your honesty in your response and then you know you’ll always be in charge.

      FT xox

  • The first paragraph almost did a little laugh wee😉You’re such a funny Woman!
    As for the rest, well what more can I say? I love everything about this and truly believe you’ve found your calling. I see a podcast coming…

  • Love your words so much! I am just about finding my groove again after being a mummy for 7 years, I wear a uniform for work so am finally starting to enjoy clothes again as I begin to accept my body for how it is and not how it was! I had my colours done (I know I know CRINGE) but as someone who never wore colours it’s really helped give me some direction when shopping!

    • Aww thank you for your comment and for explaining your journey so far. Acceptance is a very important part in this initial stage of #MyStyleTriangle and there’s nothing wrong with getting your colours done. We all need inspiration, especially if we feel a bit like we’re stuck in a style rut, but IMHO, I always think it’s best to do the inspiration part, after you’ve asked yourself those important questions as detailed in this blog post, then this Sunday, I will explain about identifying the zones on #MyStyleTriangle and the final stage will be about where to get inspired…

      FT xoxo

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