Benalmadena-Church-The-FT-Times-Wedding-Day

IS THERE SUCH A THING AS THE PERFECT WEDDING?

I just couldn’t help myself. All this Royal Wedding shizzle just got me all goose-bumpy and before you could say sugared almond, there I was, getting all emotional over my wedding photos. Whether you love or loathe Harry and Meghan (or Henry and Rachel) seriously folks, what’s not to love about a good ol’ wedding, innit?

It’s stressful. Trust me, I know! We actually cancelled our first wedding after the invites went out – well Mr Husband did – but let’s not dwell on that.

Point is – assuming of course that you’re getting wed because you’re madly in love and not for some other dodgy reason –  it’s A. MEGA. BIG. DEAL.

And because of this very reason; that it means so much to you, you are naturally going to feel the pressure.

In this instance, stress is a good sign. It signifies your strength of feeling to want to create a truly special moment.

You want it to be perfect. But here’s the thing – it’s not going to be.

I was told to expect at least 10 things that wouldn’t go to plan on the day – and they were right.

But guess what, folks? None of it mattered.

No one will notice but you and in short you have the choice to let it totally f*ck up your entire day – or not. (To be clear, we’re only talking about the ‘small’ stuff here, right? Not like being stood up on the actual day!)

I bought an old fashioned type writer purely for the place settings and favours plus hand stamps too. Each guests had a place card that had inside a personal (typed) message from us to them. Surrey lavender bouquets sat alongside a kraft bag containing Spanish corn nuts, Smarties and Love Hearts to nibble on before the feasting commenced.

Look, here’s what I mean and note, I had to really, really think long and hard about what my 10 things were because I didn’t really register them that deeply on the day itself and as I said earlier, no one really cares! Why? Because they’re far to busy having fun in the magic of your marriage, that’s why! Not one single wedding photo of mine has a glum face in sight, even in the candid shots, everyone clearly was having THE. BEST. TIME.

My advice is just make sure you get in on it, too.

The stunning views of Mijas, Spain and Lew Hoads Tennis Club where we had our wedding reception.

OK, here goes…

1 A TODDLER WILL TANTRUM BEFORE THE CEREMONY

Be prepared, a child at a wedding means expect the unexpected. My daughter – nearly two at the time – had an almighty melt down just as we were about to get all glammed up.

We were married in Benalmadena, Spain; weddings don’t tend to happen anytime before 3pm as it’s just too hot. As to be expected on holiday, her routine had swiftly exited out of the veranda and together with a diet of Cheetos and chips plus an extra long paddle in the hotel pool meant she MISSED HER NAP TIME!

OH FARRRRK!

The result? Lots of bribery with Spanish cartoons, more Cheetos just so that I could bath and dress my overly tired child then buggy rock her to sleep when I should have been having my hair and make-up done. Finally once she gave up, I got to sit in the chair with just moments to spare. Not how I imagined it, but still, PHEW!

2 DO I LOOK OK?

Because of the above I vaguely remember stressing about my make-up. My skin was hot and I felt irritated and a right sweaty mess from all that buggy rocking. I remember obsessing over my semi-permanent lashes that I had done before we flew out. THREE SINGLE LASHES had fallen out! Did anyone notice but me? Pah! Course not!

We had Surrey lavender to represent the bride and then Cornish hydrangeas as confetti  to represent the groom and his Kernow roots.
3 WHO’S IN CHARGE?

The drive through the Spanish hills in a vintage Rolls Royce Phantom, with my son (8 years old at the time) riding up front and my Dad and daughter sat in the back with me, was beyond dreamy.

Not wanting to spoil the moment, it’s not unusual for thoughts to come crashing in like “Have they got the Cornish hydrangea confetti made specially from flowers that grew in Mr Husband’s family home that was formerly known as Love Lane?” “Did the ushers bring the Order of Service booklets that I painstakingly hand stamped?” “Is our wedding planner at the church getting everyone seated?”

Shut the chatter up. If you’ve done the ground work, everyone will know their roles for the day and even if they don’t, someone else will sort it. All is OK!

4 ROCKING UP LATE!

Standard, innit! I don’t know anyone that’s turned up to their wedding on the dot? Do you? And likewise, I’ve never left a wedding because I had something more pressing to do or attend. Everyone will wait. It’s totally fine! This is YOUR day!

5 ORDER OF SERVICE

Did it all go to plan at the actually ceremony? I honestly couldn’t tell you. Although I had painstakingly gone over with my wedding planner every minute detail from start to finish; all the music, the readings etc, I couldn’t tell you if it all went exactly to plan. Whether it did or didn’t hasn’t registered.

The only thing that has is the magic of actually getting married to Mr Husband and this magic still follows me around to this very day. (Aaaaah!)

6 GROUP PHOTO CHAOS

Here, I have to give a massive and most humungous shout out to my dear friend and BEST wedding photographer EVER, Emma Sekhon. If you need or know someone that needs a wedding photographer check out Emma’s website here. She captured the moment and without sounding wanky, the love and I’ll adore her forever and beyond for doing just the best job, ever! (Mwah Emma x x x)

In regards to photos, unless you’re proper batshit and expect to run your wedding with military precision, once again, embrace the unexpected.

Your guests are not performing monkeys.

It’s not so much that anything went wrong with ours, it’s just easy to get stressed when guests are asked to get in line for a photo and there’s lots of mild chaos and calling over of relatives, there maybe the odd sweet wrapper in shot (more bribery for the kids!) but if you’ve briefed your photographer well, they will make it happen. Trust me. (Or them, more like!)

7 ARE WE ON SCHEDULE?

No! End of. Get over it, ha!

Ready for our guests…tables were set all around the swimming pool which in the evening had candles floating on Cala lilies. Our table names had ‘I Love You’ in different languages from countries that mean something to us.
8 WHERE’S THE MULBS?

We bought my bridesmaids a Mulberry mirror and purse each as their ‘Thank You’ gifts – but I got well into Mr Husband’s wedding speech so much so, that when he thanked them for being such brilliant bridesmaids (hence my cue to hand out their gifts) all I remember is fumbling with the gift bag handles that had got all tangled up under our table for what seemed like ages. In my mind I had dreamed of presenting them with poise and perfection. Anyone notice this on the actual day? Nah!

9 THE CAKE’S MELTING

Spain is hot in September. We had our three tier wedding cake hand-made by Mr. Husband’s niece and flown all the way over from the UK as we wanted a home-made, traditional wedding cake. Royal icing does not like the warm Spanish climes (it’s why they don’t do it, ha!) It may have started to sweat. Again, did anyone notice? Uh-uh!

10 PLAYLIST PLONKER

Finally, even though I sent the DJ a list of all the tracks we wanted he still managed to f*ck up a few but by this point, the bar was being drunk dry as the Spanish sun had set. Candles were bobbing beautifully on the swimming pool as some guests relaxed poolside while others danced like no one was watching.

Was it the perfect day? Did it all go to plan? It’s debatable depending on your standards but for me and Mr Husband, our children, our family and guests –  THE BEST DAY, EVER!

Thank you for reading and as always, please scroll down to comment below.

F.T.

6 Comments

  • Aww I never tire of these photos FT, still sad that I missed it 🙁
    I’m in the small camp of not spending money on one day. Mark & I were married in my Dads Aussie garden with just family & no fan fare. We cooked a BBQ, my bouquet was a last minute pick from the garden & we said no presents. My Dad gave us a little cash which we put towards buying our first house in the UK.
    I think a marriage should be celebrated after it’s actually survived some of it’s life. So many couples spend exhorbitant amounts on the wedding only to divorce a few years later. Is it the expectation? I don’t know. I suspect many women are brought up with a Disney style dream of the perfect wedding. Needless to say that wasn’t me. My dreams were to travel the world not be a Princess 😉
    xx

    • Ah, I know. You’ll be the first to know if we do a renewal – not just an excuse for those who sadly couldn’t come but I love your point about celebrating marriage afterwards. So true girlfriend…

      Plus I AM WITH YOU in that small camp of not spending in excess just for one day alone. I think for us, the fact that we had kids beforehand, we just couldn’t justify the cost when you’ve got more important shizzle to pay for. Spain is MUCHO cheaper. We didn’t have venue hire! YASSSS!

      FT xoxo

  • You’re so right. With a wedding it’s so easy to obsess and worry about the detail but no one else notices if the ribbon on the favours don’t match the exact shade of blush as your bridesmaids dresses! You have to keep focused on the bigger picture.

    • Yeah, that’s it. It’s so easy to get carried away! I mean look at Carrie in SATC, FFS! Hahaha!

      FT xoxo

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